I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
