Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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