i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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