At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
