Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
