Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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