Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
