It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
