Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
