corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
