My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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