Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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