Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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