i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
