Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
