Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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