People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
