nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
