Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
