Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
