did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
