I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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