im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
