Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
When did we convert life to cartoon?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
