Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
