just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
