So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
