i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize