Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
