i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
