Moan for me like Helen Keller
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
false alarm, still single
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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