do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
