i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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