wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
