I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
