You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
