I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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