Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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