Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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