you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
