All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
