If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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