kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
