I cockslap morals
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
