I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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