you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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