my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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