It's Friday. Sex?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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