After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize