I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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