Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
