Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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