she was so not down for the gang bang
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
