i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
